perspective of a homosexual boy at school

Dear Journal,
School was so hard again today. Not because of the classes but because of all the kids at school and... my friends. It's so hard being in the closet and trying to keep it that way.
I walked into homeroom over to my friends and Joey goes "Dude, what are you, gay? Take that off!" because I was wearing what I think was a really nice vest, but I guess it was too "gay" for my friends. This is just so hard, I want to tell my friends that I'm gay so bad, I mean they are my best friends they should accept it right? Ah, what am I thinking, they're always making fun of me because of my clothing style and saying that stuff like "only a faggot would wear that" and they're always making fun other gay people. And that hurts me, just because someone likes to wear a different style of clothing than them, or likes a different sex than them doesn't mean there is something wrong with them, or that they are bad people. I don't think anything is wrong with my friends because they like girls and I don't, and they like a different style of clothing then me. I still accept them, they are still good people to me.
I think the only one that understands me is my sister because she has gay friends and she knows that I'm gay, and she doesn't act different to me. So, I would hope that my friends would do the same but I doubt it, and that sucks so bad. I just don't even know what to do anymore, the only that knows is my sister and she keeps telling me to tell my parents but I just don't know how to, I don't want to disappoint them. My dad is always bugging me about why I don't play sports. Like today when he walked in from work, the first thing he said to me was "So, did you try out for baseball today?" and I hesitantly said no and he just looked so disappointed and angry at the same time that I just walked away. He hasn't talked to me since. I know he wouldn't accept it, sometimes I'm afraid he might disown me if he found out. He's just such a typical sports dad and of course my little brother is all about sports so, we already know who's the favorite. I just don't understand why he doesn't just accept that I don't like sports, my brother didn't like sports when he was little and he didn't say anything... Maybe he suspects that I'm gay and that's why hes so angry? But that's even worse. Ah! This is just so hard, between my friends and my dad. The two people I would think would love me no matter what, I can't even tell them who I really am. It's not fair. Life is not the way I thought it would be in what are supposed to be the best years of my life...

For now,
Danny